11. Production Review: My Production and My Intended Improvements

I am going to ask my media teachers (Mrs Blackborow and Mrs Dymioti), media technician (Sam) and some people of the intended target audience (both media and non-media students) look at my adverts to suggest improvements.

ADVERT 1:

Media Teachers:

WWW:
-they found the main part of the date in central London cute and smoothly edited together

EBI:
-they suggested that I could shorten the beginning sequence (by cutting out the irrelevant shots and reshoot the main MS from the POV of the mirror) to create a more smooth, advert-style opening
-they also suggested that I put a post-it note from Immy's character saying "Hands off!" or similar at the beginning when Leo is seen picking it up and to make the bathroom surface look very girly

Media Technician:

WWW:
-liked the guacamole dip and music
-also enjoyed the narrative and pacing of the shots on the music

EBI:
Sam gave more specific and technical notes.
-Leo's face is poorly lit in the second shot, as he is entering the bathroom so either cut the shot earlier or have the bathroom light on from before (5s)
-(after asking Sam about the rain on the lens) he said it was only obvious in the OTS from behind Tali (15s) and LS, space on right of frame (21s)
-in my colour grade to generally gently adjust the contrast and brightness, if the sky or skin tones are too bright
-also made the same suggestion that my teachers did of having Immy's post-it note on the Wave can at the beginning

Intended Target Audience:

Marta, Faye, Pavit (17 year old girls):
-liked the cute simplicity of the advert and were left smiling after watching

Andreas and Morgan (17 year old boys):
-liked the montage style and fast pace

My Intended Improvements based on the reviews above:

• I definitely agree that the beginning of my advert would look smoother with fewer shots so have rescheduled to re-shoot that with my actor. This improvement will also help me with the timings of my whole advert overall as it is currently around six seconds too long. As well as the beginning, I hope to reshoot my cutaway packshots of the Wave deodorant with Immy's post-it note as well as Dan's.
• I will also work on improving my advert based on Sam's more technical suggestions, making those small tweaks and possibly finding shots to replace those I am cutting out
• During my colour grade, I will concentrate on the brightness and contrast settings as Sam suggested and also up the saturation on the exterior shots to make the locations look brighter and to cancel out the muggy weather on the shoot day

ADVERT 2:

Media Teachers:

WWW:
-liked the general framing of shots and acting from both Immy and Daniel

Mrs B's suggestions:
-to cut the music out completely (or started it at a lower level) to allow the audience to concentrate on the diagetic sounds and dialogue, before it fully kicks in for the exterior scenes
-to experiment with my sped up/slowed down shots (LSs at the end of both exterior sections) to see which way is more effective- both shots are currently sped up to 300%
-to insert transitions between the interior and exterior sections in both halves of the advert- a clock animation (to show that time has passed) or a slow dissolve
-to re-record my voiceover with British teenage voices
-to possibly include more of Daniel's morning routine (as I did Immy's)
-to make it more clear that Daniel was picking up the Wave can (maybe reshoot the same LA cutaway of the bathroom surface with him picking it up)

Mrs D mentioned a couple of the points above, but also:
-to perhaps find a shot where Immy is looking past the camera, in her jogging scene, instead of directly into the lens
-to maybe slow down Immy's over-exaggerated running (currently at 300% speed) to something slower (perhaps at 200%) but still sped up, as I may be in danger of making negative connotations of women in sport if I was to slow it to half-speed

Media Technician:
-to speed up the track-up on Dan (16s) to make the piece pacier
-to pick a more upbeat/intense part of the music (like the one used in the final bridge part) to have during Immy's exercise scene
-to find another part of the tube scene to use, where you can clearly see Daniel laughing too and Marta (my production assistant that day) is not seen in the reflection

Intended Target Audience:

Marta, Faye, Pavit (17 year old girls):
-They found this advert harder to understand but after they understood that Immy and Daniel were both sharing her dressing gown, they got a grasp of the whole advert and enjoyed it more than the first

Andreas and Morgan (17 year old boys):
-found this advert particularly funny but suggested making the text last for longer on the screen and for the brand name to pop up later than the slogan in both adverts

My Intended Improvements based on the reviews above:

• I will change the text so that the brand name 'Wave' comes after the initial hashtag. Although I would like to make the text longer overall, I am not sure whether I will have enough space in the 30 seconds to do so.
• I will find a different part of the music for the exterior parts and make the interior diagetic sounds more significant than the music to add a sense of realism
• I will also experiment with the speed of the jog and walk, to make it as funny as possible without causing unwanted offense
• I also want to experiment with transitions and possibly get other people (with more of a London accent) to record my voiceover